The Good
About a year prior to making the choice to move to Hilton Head, the one question people asked me over and over again was “who do you know there?”. I have been coming to HH since 2009 and after my separation, we continued to come down on vacation as a family. My Ex and I have a good relationship, where the kids come first. That is all I am going to say about that. While staying at Waterside, the Big Bamboo was in walking distance and became my “Cheers”. It is decked out as a WWII officer’s club in the South Pacific. I became friendly with the bartenders there. As a side note, HH has the best bartenders anywhere. I met Kacie, Andy, Evan, Sarah, Devon, Kristen, Will etc. Most are in their 30’s and are all great people. During my trips down to prepare for the move, I would hang there a lot. I met Rachel, via FB who rented my place for a few months after I bought it and was not being used. She is an extraordinary young lady who is a fitness trainer here and get my highest recommendation. Through her I met SD from Savannah.
SD is an amazing person who I consider a very good friend. She is very pretty and over the past year has been working out and as of the last time I saw here on New Year’s Eve, looked dynamite. Before I moved for good we did have dinner a few times and she sensed I was drawn to her and did me a favor quickly by setting me straight that she just wanted to be friends. Her honesty saved me from a foolish mistake since in hindsight, I am not what she is looking for and I realize that with my situation, better not to screw up a friendship over foolish emotions. We chat often and I still go to Savannah to have dinner once in a while.
Now to set the record straight, as of 2/3/19, besides my many bartender and waitstaff friends/acquaintances, all those who are my friends are all female. Sounds like a good thing for a guy but as you will read later under the ugly, not always a good thing. They see me as safe and one whose’s shoulder they can cry on. I am the teddy bear type and always been, not the guy girls take home at night, but the guy the call the next morning for a shoulder to cry on. Before moving down, I joined a FB over 40 page and that I where I have met these friends.
One is Debbie, also a Georgia girl. The night we met, she had seen a post on the FB page and approached me at the Big Bamboo AKA Boo. It was noisy and with her thick Georgia accent, had no idea that she was saying lol. I later approach at the bar and started chatting. She is widowed and close to my age and we have become, in my opinion, very good friends. We are dinner companions and bar stool buddies. She is very sweet and we tell things to each other that we can’t divulge to others. again, strictly platonic. We rang in the New Year with her sister and her sister’s bf in Savannah. Well, she likes my sense of humor and laughs at my jokes.
The original FB group was deleted by the Administrator because she did not have time to run it. She regretted not tuning it over to me but in October 2018, I started a new one. There are a half dozen or so that I a maintain a friendship on different level and won’t get into details since their lives are busy, challenging and most contact is done via texting. All of these women are fantastic, strong, and amazing women. Later on I may elaborate but, well…., not necessary, but I love each and everyone of them.
Unfortunately the only “bad” category also qualifies as the ugly as well. What seemed like a perfect situation came crashing down with the speed of one text message. I won’t say her name but was share the same initials and she shares her first name with a Beatles song on the White Album about Lennon’s mom. The other part involved shares my name but shares initials with the lead singer of the Doors. I first came into contact with JS via the original FB HH over 40 group. I posted things where she would consistently like. Then we became FB friends last spring and would like each others posts. After my separation, I had two previous attempt and a relationship, which neither one worked out and will be the subject of a future story. After a few months of FB flirting, we did meet for breakfast after I moved for good at Java Burrito. On paper, things seemed perfect. She was a stay at home mom, was 9 years younger who always liked older guys, Beatle fan, did not want a serious relationship at that time, made me feel very good, and soon I discovered. well I won’t go into details but the sex was amazing. She lived close by and has a small son who goes to bed by 8. She has 2 grown children who don’t live with her. Sounds perfect doesn’t it. FWB only minutes away!! Now for the catch. I was not the only one in her life. She met JM last February on the same group I think. She is from the Midwest and he from a city up north who last great achievement was told in the play 1776. She was upfront about him and I was fine with “sharing’ at the time. He lives on the Island and works doing maintenance at a local shopping area. We would refer to him as PB, which was short for plumber boy. JS said he was a nice guy, very different from me but he did stuff to piss her off. He was very clingy, made her drive everywhere, especially when it would make her nervous going somewhere she was not familiar with because he drove for work or something. Well so much for chivalry. He is NOT Italian, that is for sure. He had little imagination regarding places to go and was a picky eater who only ate bland. She liked different things and like a little spice in her food and in life. She made it know that she wanted to have some fun after a bad and long marriage. She had married young and he was no Prince Charming. We did a lot of things; pub crawl, lunches, breakfasts, trips to Savannah, daytime rendezvous, and to a winery. She would come over when I had the kids for dinner with her sweet son and of course our time in bed. Not to get into details but she did everything amazing and made me feel a way I have not in years. After our first time, I started pinching myself expecting to wake up from a dream. then she would assure me it was quite real. There was one odd thing, sometimes she would sometimes have too much to drink and not remember the next morning, and she would blurt out things about JM and she did the same about me. Again no more details about that. the next there months went by with texts during the day, phone chats on nights we were not together and without realizing, I may have been, dare I say it, falling in love.
Then it all came down crashing. In the beginning of November, she told me that JM was having a friend over with the express purpose of having tons of sex for a week. This unsettled her and she told me that she was very pissed at him and froze him out that week. I had a dream that she told me that she was going exclusive with him and she assured me it was a dream and that would not happen. We even had lunch with other friends from the group the day before JM’s guest was about to leave and the next day I made her a special dinner. I made stuffed mushrooms and for those who know me, I only make them for special people. It was a Saturday and she left me to confront him about how angry she was and that was the last time I saw her. I gave her space on Sunday and Monday I had asked about her daughter who was having oral surgery and to see how the talk went. She cut me off saying that JM and I we stressing her out. I gave her two more days and Wednesday 11/14 came. I was out with Debbie at the Lodge having dinner and I texted her. I got back “please do not contact me or JM anymore”. Stunned I asked her it they are now exclusive and she replied “yes”. Dumbfounded I walked out in the middle of my meal and went home to write a long letter asking for an explanation. She had blocked me from FB and messenger. The only was I was able to communicate was email. I told her to destroy the letter without reading. After a few days I figured, he changed his ways and she had no real feelings for me. I guess I was his incentive to change. “Heartless” came to mind and realized I was just being used. She claimed that she did not want to be promiscuous any longer. Funny though, she had an old bf from her hometown coming to New Year’s who made all kind of plans. I guess he was out of luck too. A month later I sent a e-mail to her and she told me JM was moving in with her, so much for hating clingy and wanting space. It was not what she did that upset me the most, it was the heartless way she sent a “Dear John” text; welcome to the 21st century. If she would have had the decency to at least explain in person, I would have accepted it better. JM has no kids, is handy, in better shape, same age. I can accept that maybe he is a better choice. maybe she wants to get married eventually. I don’t and told God to strike me dead if I do. LOL. So I spent 2 month getting over it and my friends have been there for me. Debbie and SD have given me perspective. One of my other friends, SK actually went on a date with JM via POF and told me he was the most boring person she had ever met. Of course God tortured me via XM Beatles channel 18 by playing all the Beatles’s break up songs. I had to not listen for a week and those who know me know that has never happened. So there it goes, 2/3/19, getting by with a big help from my friends. In a future post, I will talk about the two attempts after I was separated of dating. I promise not to disappoint.
Stay tuned for my next post about a local bar I frequent, Cool Cats Lounge. A place here local HHI residents hang and cool bartenders too. Troy, Adam, Matty, Cliff, Jen.
Yankee in Dixie 