August 23. 2019 finds me at happy hour at Cool Cats (wow big friggin surprise). Chef Russ is the Friday celebrity bartender.  This was the usual time of year I would come as a tourist for eight years. Now that school is back in the South, the families have dwindled. The traffic around the Greenwood/Sea Pines circle has returned to a more manageable ordeal. The end has not come without some setbacks. Stella, my KIA Soul, got its doors severely scrapped by an 18 year old tourist/gal from the Charleston area. I was parked in front of Fish, where I went for some $1 oysters and planned to see one of my favorite bands, Cornbred at the Bamboo. I said to myself, “let me leave the car here and walk since the lot by Bamboo is much more narrow and tight. Well, I came back at 11:00 and found the damage and a note. The number to her father’s cell and a note of apology was on my window. He is paying the one grand to fix it directly to the body shop. It reaffirms my faith in people and the truth about Southern decency with gets attacked in the media.

Now I am still in the “post Watts” period and I am back to hanging alone since my other friends (all women), who of course with kids, work and are very busy. Having every other week off from the kids, I am going out less and I bring a big quart size cup with me. One white claw can last me two hours when I have a lot of ice. Most nights I only spend $10 now. Fruit drinks at Tiki or Bamboo margaritas are now verboten. Don’t miss it really, it is not worth the inconvenience of feeling lousy. I am looking forward to cooler weather and Halloween. In 1984 I was a gangster. Since I have most of what I need, I just had to add suspenders and spats. I am going to Savannah to the Mad Hatter for my fedora.  They have good quality and good prices. I need to actually try one on since hat sizes vary and I want to see the hat’s quality. Plus I have a big freakin head. There is another on Boughton but price will decide.

OK, well, seeing SD in Savannah tomorrow. If she has the later Slow Ride assignment, I will ride it to hang out. She is one of the few southern women that are not completely nuts. No offence Watts! I am blessed with having a few good friends that I can vent to and vice versa. Mary Beth and I joke that if we are old and single we will move in together. We did not elaborate on the details. The major problem with that is she is such a fantastic cook, I would be 1000 lbs. I drool over her FB posts when she cooks.

Moving on, last night i met these two girls from Buffalo, 20’s and cute. We were chatting about the island. Funny,  women love to talk to me. There were also these twins that were very entertaining from Ohio. God, I wish I had my lap top then. Bamboo had open mic night and was empty inside. Mostly kids outside smoking. See, Cool Cats has an older crowd earlier in the night and those younger in the hospitality industry come in after 11pm. I told the manager here to have their motto modeled after the show Pawn Stars; “you never know who is going to come through that door”. Side note, there is a girl who comes here called “Bubbles”. She is from NJ and the sweetest gal. We were just chatting and she was telling of her upcoming birthday trip back home. It made me think about the Jersey Shore back in the 80’s, a glorious time. Maybe a future piece to write about.  The Stone Pony, Belmar, Seaside Heights, etc. (sniff, sniff). When Bruce sang about the Jersey girl being special, he was right, they truly are.

Well people are coming and going as usual, just like in “Piano Man”. Soon I will be back to Skull Creek, a popular place with Watts and me. I know my readership is limited to a few friends and people who see me writing when I am out. I ordered cheap business cards from Vista Print so I don’t have to write it down the web address anymore for people who are curious. Well, that’s all for now;  almost time to decorate for Halloween.

For all my friends who read this, thank you for being there for me and I love you all.

John

Cool Cats Lounge, Hilton Head SC

It has been said when God closes a door, he opens a window. Well with the departure of Watts, now my bad dietary ways have caught up with me. After a few months of feeling like crap and showing signs of diabetes, I went to the doctor and it is now official. My grandfather always said, no job is doing unless it is done well. Well my type 2 diabetes is full blown as my doctors characterized it. So now back at Cool Cats for the first time since the famous Watts ban of 2019. I loaded up the jukebox and now writing at my favorite place. The place is empty except to Mr Hudson and Laynie, the new bartender. Just met her and she is adorable and of course young.

It is now 9PM and time for the shift change. I just found out Troy got fired so Watts is no longer banned. Too bad she is in Roanoke. I was told Troy was a problem, being drunk and who knows what else. This is my first time here since she’s been gone. It is just not the same. Matt Stock walked in as the late shift bartender and I am still the only one here, but the lull is usually broken later with those working in the various restaurants getting off work at 11ish.

Now about the diabetes thing. I have received many well wishes from people across the entire spectrum of my life, from Silver Lake Rd, my three schools, jobs, fraternity, other friends and my Dixie buddies. I lost 25-30 lbs over the past 6 weeks and cut out the crap like fried food, and other carb laden foods. No more fried green tomatoes but I have my own homemade pickled green tomatoes. Protein and a lot of salads. Chicken, chicken, chicken. shrimp and tuna fish. I am not taking this lightly. The lifestyle change is not as hard as one would expect. Much of what I ate made me feel like crap. Pizza, Chinese, pasta. I had some of my Pastosa raviolis before my doctor visit and it made me feel lethargic. I was drinking two gallons of water and peeing constantly. Now with a better diet, I am feel much better. Stairs are easier, not as tired, even walking and shopping are easier. OK enough for now. I promise to post weekly with updates for the few who read this. LOL.

PS Cliff, the new owner Mike and some others walked in.

PPS. Miss you Watts!!

It was one year ago today,  I loaded to the gills my 2000 Mountaineer and at 4am drove out of my driveway at 169 Bard Ave for the last time. As I arrived down on Hilton Head Island, I began my 3+ months experience with Julia. Please refer to previous blogs to refresh your memory as I still wish not to. Today, 7/30/19, the second person to capture my heart was forced to relocate back home to Roanoke Va. I have written about her before but will be revisiting the past 6 or 7 months.

To set the record straight, we never dated, slept together or seriously entertained the thought. We called each other our wing man and we looked out for each other. Watts was very upfront with me from the beginning that we were just friends, which I appreciated. But Damn she is so cute. She like SD from Savannah were both very honest with me. When I met Watts it was at Cool Cats (yeah big surprise). She immediately dubbed me “New York John” and we began to talk. Many in her family and friends who I have not met, know me at that. Ironically, she was there with her Roanoke BF, we will call him  Mr, B,  and he was less that please when she and I started talking.

To describe Watts….hmmmm. Picture one of those western woman who are alone on a farm and will aim a shot gun at you if you go on her land. She is all West Virginia!!! Due to her asshole landlord who let his condo get foreclosed upon, the crazy Hilton Head rent  drove her back home and destroying her dream of living 7 minutes from the best beach in the US and not having her best friend near by. I have no intention on letting our friendship die. We made plans for mutual visits and she wants to rent one of my HHI timeshares. OK, this next part is for Mr. B. As we are both Italians hear me. On my honor as a Sicilian and the souls of my children, absolutely nothing ever, romantic or physical, happened between us and that is the last time I am going to talk about it. CASE CLOSED. I have several close female friends and opposed to Hugh Hefner, I was more like Bosley from Charlie’s Angels.

Watts became like a little sister whose chops I would bust constantly, especially at Cool Cats playing a certain Neil Diamond song inspired by JFK’s daughter. I have the jukebox app to play songs and played it and Johnny B. Goode at 1am when she was there and I was home in bed. What a bastard I can be.

Watts and I had many adventures together which were fun. Cool Cats, watching the moon rise at the beach, sunsets at Skull Creek, the Roof Top Bar at Poseidon, and others. Being there for each other when crises struck or those 3am calls to vent, we were definitely as close a two can be without the sex. Now those days are over and the Roanoke crew is now in charge of watching out for her. There still will be 3am calls and endless texts but I will always love you Watts and will hold you to your pledge of visits. This piece cannot go on too long or one or both of us will start crying again. Watts, don’t lose your shit!!!! Mr.B, you take good care of her as I know you will.

So in the course of 365 days, God opened and slammed two windows on me,  and I wonder what he has in store for me, but that is something for another post.

John Scarso

Hilton Head Island SC 7/30/19

After moving to Hilton, I heard about the famous St. Patrick’s Day Parade celebration in Savannah and I made it my business to attend. Luckily I was able to use Holiday Inn Reward Points to avoid a $450 a night rate. I made arrangements to meet SD in the Friday to have a pre-parade warm up. She was working her second job at Slowride and we meet up after her shift ended. She was with some of her Slowride friends, who were pretty cool. We went to the Rail Pub which was voted best dive bar in America and it did not disappoint. The music was cookin’, the booze was flowing and spirits were high. One of SD’s friends was Joe who was tall and full of personality. He immediately offered his flask and we hit it off right away. He was met but his two beautiful cousins, Tasha and Danielle from Detroit. Tasha is older and the more outgoing one. I will not guess age because many black women I know, look much younger than their driver’s license will reveal. She did day she had grown child so I am guessing about 40. Her sister Danielle was the quiet one but she did not fool me at all. Watch out for the quiet ones as the saying goes. Afterwards Joe, SD, Josh (another friend) and I hit a Mexican place for much needed food. It is on MLK called Carlito’s. SD and I have been there several times before. Good food and drinks and the prices are very reasonable. We separated and SD and I hit 2 more places. First we hit Stafford’s Public House by Factory Walk, a place I have visited once before with Julia on a pub crawl. Small place but amazing drinks and a top notch bar staff. After a few drinks, we moved over to Savannah Smiles Dueling Pianos. First I must say that this place is one of my favorite establishments and a place not to be missed by the one time visitor and must be hit frequently by natives and those of us from HHI who come to Savannah for spiritual therapy. There was a drum and fife band from Rockland County, NY and the performers were kickin’ as always. There was a cute girl selling shots in test tubes and SD and I were indulging liberally. My hotel was near by so I was letting loose for a change. On HHI, I have to drive 12-15 minutes home so I have to behave myself as opposed to my nights on Forest Avenue where I walked home. By 11PM, we were both getting tired and we walked up to Bay Street where I ordered her an Uber ride. It was by 5 Guys and when she left, I got a burgher and brought it back to my room, put on the news, devoured it and went to bed. It was a great day with SD and I was looking forward to the parade in the morning.

On parade day, I was fortunate that the ex-brother in law of a friend had seats on the parade route and invited me to sit there. The parade was long but there were many great marchers. My favorite were the Sons on the Confederacy. There were about a dozen reenactors who fired their rifles. The float had all the correct confederate flags, yes I checked. There were various military units from the area represented and many high school marching bands. Side note; southern schools know how to march. On Staten Island it is pitiful. I would scream. LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT and so on. SD was on a float for Slowride and she was at the end. After the parade, we were suppose to meet up but her phone died and I was on my own. I was at Stafford again for a while after an hour wait to get in. SD said they were going there but I never got the message they left. I stayed a while after I got in and then went to the City Market where every bar had a block long line. Alone I roamed around for a while and headed back to my hotel hoping to get something to eat. I passed the Moon River Brewery and Bay Street and they had a table for 1. I had some ribs and fried green tomatoes before going back to my room. I was shot and was done for the weekend.

After a good night sleep, I returned to Hilton Head and just relaxed while passing up their parade. By 6, I ventured down to the Tiki Hut until they closed and then to Hinchey’s down on Pope Avenue for a late bite. They are among the best places for wings. There were two men from Canada who sat next to me and one of them, named John, was very animated with his hands as he spoke. He could have used a little tutoring about a New Yorker’s personal space and every time he tried to make a point, I got poked. Needless to say I moved to another seat when the chance presented itself. I did learn a lesson that day. Will I do the Savannah parade again? Not on a weekend, although a great parade, there were just too many people vying for too little bars. I can cross it off my bucket list and next year I plan to stay on the island.

Hilton Head Island 3/4/19

As a follow up to my previous “Good, Bad and Ugly” segment, I thought a prequel was in order. I will share two stories regarding past relationships and how the long and winding road as brought us to 2019. I am leaving out one person, who was just prior to my marriage,ho chose not to reestablish contact so I will just leave her out.

MJ

In the previous piece I did talk about FM since we did reconnect after 33 years and well… you read it already. What is important is my accepting what I can’t change and just moving on. After FM broke my heart, I received a revelation. There was a girl, MJ, who was a year behind me in high school and was part of my circle of friends. I found out two years after graduation that she actually had thing for me back then. It was the summer of 1983 and FM and I had ended. I came home for the summer in the beginning of May. At that time, one of my hangouts was a club called The Caves. A converted brewery, where the barrel rooms had a stage, dance floor and a game room. Getting back to MJ, she was very Irish, with red hair and killer eyes. I was going to school at CW Post on Long Island and she was going to school in NJ. We were both single and we would hang out a lot. She had always been a good friend and when I found out she had a thing for me, I was nervous. Yes, she was very cute, but at that time, I never really thought about us being an item. She was a passionate person but I did not want a long distance relationship and I still had some esteem issues with women. Let me explain, although good looking, I was never the guy girls would hook up with at night, but was the one they came to crying in the morning; everyone’s brother. Make no mistake, that summer with her was one of the best summers of my life. I was working as a camp counselor at a local NYC Parks Department summer day camp and also had a job working Saturday nights at the local newspaper. That one night netted me $75. a huge amount then and my camp $$$ I saved for school. Drinks were a buck at The Caves so life was good. The following spring we spent time together and came withing a hair of starting a relationship. In my junior year I was not attached but had been pursuing someone (BS are her initials and will be discussed later). MJ and I went into NYC for the St. Patrick’s Day parade. We had a great time but when we got back to Staten Island, the car had an alarm with a Chapman lock which got locked by mistake and we did not have the key. The car started but the alarm when off, it sounded like a police siren and we could not shut it off. We had to go the other side of the island and as we drove people were pulling over thinking we were cops. We laugh to this day about it. Also during that time, I has asked BS to go to the spring formal with me but she declined and MJ came out and we had a great time. Now it was becoming clear that choices had to be made. After the formal, BS and I were moving closer. Now MJ also had a pursuer as well and in the end we both chose the other person. He became her husband and BS came to her sense and we began our relationship. BS lived upstairs from me in my dorm and she also lived on Staten Island so it seemed the logical choice. Since MJ chose someone else, we took a wait and see approach while remaining good friends. I did not want to lose her a friend as can happen when friends date and screw things up. Would have I married her if we chose differently, I think so and a move to DEFCON 1 would still exist today but that point is moot. Fast forward, she has 4 great kids but the husband was an abusive asshole and they split several years before me and my ex did. All those years I cherished our time together and low and behold, she found someone prior to my separation and again bad timing. Would have I loved to have an opportunity to start seeing her? Absolutely! At that point, if she was game, I was in but fate has a way of intervening. Now in SC, she in NJ things would be rather difficult and would not want to ruin a 40+ year friendship but Lord, if she came for a visit, we would have a blast. Savannah, HH places, etc just like the old days. I don’t give a flying f*%k what people say, I can love more than one person somewhere between DEFCON 2 and 3. I will always love her as well as a few others that are in my heart. There, it is out there and said. My life, my heart, my blog! OK MJ, you see this, I still love you as much as circumstances can allow my dear friend. We had a falling out 2 years ago and did not speak. It was fault and a few months ago I ended the silence and apologized. Yes I do very stupid things from time to time and she forgave me.

BS

Now on to BS. We met on a bus going to a leadership weekend in the fall of ’82. I was a Senator in the Student Government Association and received the top committee chairmanship. The Clubs and Activities committee allocated funds from the SGA budget. It was $82,000 allocation for an 18 year old to decide how much each of the dozens of clubs would received. Of course the full Senate had to approve but it was a mere formality. On the bus there was this girl that caught my attention. She had great eyes and I overheard her say she was from Staten Island. (note, as I am writing this, she is reminding me of that detail, lol). BS are her initials. We started to chat and when she told me her HS, I asked her if she knew my cousin. She said yes and told me that my cousin had been a mean girl. Now as a note, my cousin Liz lost her mom at age 9 to lung cancer and her runaround dad remarried,  and she did not get long with her step mom therefore she had a tough adolescence. We had a nice chat but at that time I inherited a committee where clubs were allowed to spend more than their allocation for the year and her club had a deficit. The Senate required clubs to cover their deficits by fund raising. Well I was hard on the clubs and did not make a good first impression on her. OK, fast forward to the spring and I was trying to reactivate a chapter of Alpha Phi Omega fraternity. It is a coed service fraternity and my friends had brought some of their friends to the first meeting. Let’s see, my friend Donna brought her boyfriend Pete. and he brought BS and as she told me later, she saw me and said “shit, this asshole’? Well later she realized I was not so bad and she joined the frat. Summer of ’83 had MJ and I hanging out, (see above). Then came October 29, 1983, a night I will never forgot. It was the frat’s Halloween party in Riggs Hall 206. We were drinking all kinds of booze, including punch with grain alcohol. I am not sure if we had Ron’s suicide serum but may have. Then came the fatal game of spin the bottle, yes we actually got a group together. I remember kissing Lois when the bottle pointed me, then it pointed to BS. History has turned on such moments. She leaned over to me and kissed me. Remember Michael Corleone in The Godfather? It was the Colpo di Fulmine– The Thunderbolt. Even 12,910 or 1,115,424,000 seconds later, yeah I looked it up, I still member getting hitting DEFCON 1 in 1.2 nano seconds.  The party ended and I walked her back to her room and we kissed more, and I was hooked. Now she was stuck on someone else, a political rival, and to make a story short, I pursued her the rest of the school year. It was not easy and I almost gave up and the whole MJ scenario was playing out. To make a long story short, I chose BS and then we went home in May for the summer. As I remember, she was working at the Wall Street Depository and I did another summer as a camp counselor. I was in love, perhaps as much as I had ever been and our senior year was approaching. Not to go on and on but senior year was one of the best years of my life. Fraternity President, Chief Officer in the Student Government, great girlfriend, life was good. We gave each other our space to do other things. I was working on campus doing several jobs. I was clearing $85 a week plus the $25 from home and I had more than I could spend. Then it all ended on May 12, 1985: Graduation day. BS and I went home where I started looking for jobs and we were both on Staten Island, she had a car, again life was good. To sum up the next year and a half, I was much more immature than she was. She was looking to the future, where I wanted to enjoy being in my early 20’s. At the wedding of her cousin I joked in bad taste, “don’t get any ideas”. Stupid thing but a precursor to things to come. She went back to Post for a year to get her Master’s and I went to Wall Street.But the beginning on 1987 things had deteriorated with arguments and such, which culminated in a big fight on Valentine’s Day ’87, where I wanted out. I just felt that we were better off apart so she can find her happy every after. I had no plans for marriage anytime soon and felt compelled to go my own way. Shitty timing but it just happened. To fast forward, she did marry someone which did not work out. and we lost contact for many years. I had another long term relationship with AB and then got remained to someone else. Moving even more forward, my oldest daughter, who is disables with Intellectual Disabilities was going to a NYC special ed school and I became PTA Vice President. The school had several sites and one day, the President told me that BS said hello. I was floored, and we did see each other at a combined school function but was awkward. We did stay in touch from time to time via text. She had remarried and had a fantastic son, who she is very proud of and although I never met him, I also felt a tinge of pride because given a different path, he could have been mine. We still have not seen each other in person, as I chalk it up to not wanting her to be uneasy. She has been married about  20 years now and I often think about the “what ifs”. Of course changing the past would have severe consequence, which my upcoming book will explore. I am writing a book where I go back to December 1980 and deal with being 17 again without today’s technology and revisit old issues. BS has now lost both her parents, who I remember very fondly, as well as my mom so we actually moved up to chatting on the phone. This happened due to BS cleaning out her mom’s house and finding rare coins, which I am familiar with and did not want her to get cheated if she wanted to sell them. I honestly feel we met at the wrong time and perhaps give a more mature setting, well who knows? She has gone through a tremendous amount of shit in her life and remains strong and I do regret not being better friends, the husband thing. Not that I was looking for anything physical but I just don’t want to cause any problems. As with other’s in my past, there is a place in my heart where I will love her forever going forward. She knows I am always available to chat, vent, cry, etc. That about wraps things up. There are others that I won’t talk about because I am not in contact with them and a few that I loved but was only one sided. Those I still love in a different was and remain good friends to this day

My next piece called “A Tale of Two Cities” will explore the similarities and difference of New York and Hilton Head

Once again it is Valentine’s Day and I was originally going to do a piece entitled “Ghosts of Valentine’s Day Past”. Then it occurred to me, who gives a shit about my past loves and why am I going to rehash old memories and open old wounds? 2019 finds me single.

First I want to wish my friends who have been married, 20-30 or more years my warmest wishes and congratulation on finding their happy ever after.  To say I have been in love a lot is an understatement. Ever since Dawn at the YMCA summer camp back in 1971, I may have been in love more times than Italy has had post WWII governments. Don’t bother to Google it. I did and I got 61. So here am I on the night before Hallmark’s biggest holiday, at the Big Bamboo, waiting for a band called “Pretty Darn” to set up and play. I have been doing a very low carb challenge and so far so good. My friend SD from Savannah asked for a challenge mate and lord only knows I need to cut my bad carb intake; too many fried green tomatoes and BBQ.

Not counting a few HS kiddie flings, starting in 1981, in my senior I began to explore adult relationships, aka sex. Since then, there was three major relationships, that were about three years each, then a 22 year marriage, then three post marriage attempts to get something going, which did not gain traction. One funny note, the first post marriage attempt was with my first adult relationship from my senior year. After 33 years, we had two great weekends but circumstances got in the way. The second was hard because I was moving and the third was showcased in the Good, the Bad and the Ugly segment and that about sums up thing.

Let’s talk about middle age love in the 21st century. What I have observed is in many cases a total lack of enthusiasm or interest in dating for some. Family obligations, illnesses, other issues seemed to have zapped the energy out of some people. So many kids have issues today that was not diagnosed 40 years ago. Whoever heard of Autism, Bi Polar Disorder, ADHD, or many other conditions that exists today? I first heard of Autism from the 1988 movie rain Man, and my ex wife’s cousin had a little boy back in the 90’s who was my first exposure. Then my friend Kathy’s son, who is a year older than my daughter, and then Autism came to my home. I adopted Joan who was born in 2002 from Guatemala. I don’t want to dwell on the details except that my ex and I share custody which allows us the ability to do things while the other has their turn taking care of her. Many women are raising their kids alone and I have the utmost admiration for these supermoms. This why I tend to have a lot of female friends at DEFCON 3 or 4.

Oh yeah, I have come up with a scale of attraction and love. Here it goes: DEFCON 4 is when you meet someone nice but for whatever reason, it stays simple. You meet a guy’s wife who is pretty and sociable, and that is it or co-workers or fellow barflies.  DEFCON 3 is an attraction to someone but for whatever reason, only a friendship exists even though in a different reality, you would like to get to know that person better. Now things start to become interesting. DEFCON 2 is that strong attraction, where you want to get to know someone in a more intimate setting. FWB may occur, or the beginning of a relationship with all the awkwardness that accompanies said relationship. I have been there many times as I was attracted to someone’s energy. Then DEFCON 1, oh boy!! Think of Michael Corleone seeing Apollonia for the first time. This is what Sicilians call colpo di fulmine, being hit with the thunderbolt. Love, where you cannot breathe, eat, sleep, or concentrate. I have had this bad quite a few times, mostly one sided on my part but a long time ago. Now, no more than DEFCON 2 or 3s. It tears the heart apart when love  one sided, leaving it broken and in need of mending. For those who found true love and are living their happy ever after, I send my warmest wishes for continued happiness.

2/5/19

For the time being, I decided to alternate blog posts between current events and topics prior to my arrival. Today I want to talk about a place I discovered quite by accident. My original two haunts were The Big Bamboo, as previously reported and the Tiki Hut on the beach at Coligny. The Tiki is great for drinking with the ocean at your feet, but be warned Tiki is not cheap but the drinks are good and location, location, location. Again it all goes back to great bartenders. In the case of the Tiki, Tommy and Cliff. Through contact, I found out he has a piece of Cool Cats Lounge (aka CCL). It is on Palmetto next to the Smokehouse Restaurant and Lowcounty Backyard

CCL reminds me of places I left behind on Staten Island. Let me backtrack for a moment. I lived all my life no more than a stone’s throw from Forest Avenue and the 20 or so bars and restaurants. Actually, when I moved, I had lived 3 blocks from the hospital I was born in and a few blocks where in 1934, my grandfather bought a house and where my mother grew up. OK, enough of a tangent. Where was I? Oh yeah, Tommy and Cliff. Tommy is kind of serious where Cliff, who is a dead ringer for Danny Koker from Counting Cars, always has a smile on his face and laughter in his heart. so through the grapevine, I heard he had a piece of CCL. During a week where I do not have my daughters, I finally decided to check it out. I am very glad I did. The Bamboo was my original place but it is definitely a very different crowd. The Boo has been dead for a couple months except for Christmas week so I was looking for an alternate place with a lively crowd.

When I ventured in to Cool Cats,  I felt like Alice when she fell down the rabbit hole. I had read about the new floors and new bar and as a joke, I said I was there to check it out for myself. The decor is your classic dive bar with a jukebox, video games, even a couch and a host of regular characters befitting a sitcom. Cheers cannot hold a candle to this place as I am on my way to becoming a “NORM”! In reality, CC is a bartenders’s and waitstaff’s bar where it can be dead at 11pm and by midnight, 25 people who have just gotten off work show up. I am reminded by the line from the show, “Pawn Stars”, you never know what (who) will come through that door. At their sixth anniversary party, I had a vision that hit me to the point where I started laughing to myself, prompting Troy, behind the bar to come over. I had a vision of the Delta Tau Chi fraternity house in Animal House during pledge week.

The Bartenders

The first one I met was Matty, who I describe as the White Rabbit. He is usually here during the last shift as is Troy. As I said previously in another post, Hilton Head is a very small island, and Troy is the brother in law to Kacie from the Bamboo. Adam is quiet and Andie, Jackie and Jen I do not know well but are very beautiful and sweet, and of course there is Cliff who is here when not at the Tiki Hut. Tonight was the State of the Union Address and frankly who cares? At 10PM, a slow night but who know what the rest of the night may bring? Troy is one who I have have had deep conversations with, hey free therapy. Lucky guy who has a beautiful and sweet wife, Angela.

The Usual Suspects

I met two nice kids here, Dolly and Brittany. I call them Laverne and Shirley. The one good thing being 55, I can say almost anything with nothing to lose. The younger gals think it is cute, go figure.  They are both very cute where Dolly is more outgoing and Brittany is very quiet. Watch out for those!!! I also met someone who I nicknamed Watts from the Mary Stuart Masterson movie, “Some Kind of Wonderful”. She is from West Virginia and moved here the same time I did. She is a spitfire and I enjoy her company. Looking forward to some new adventures that I may write about.  There are a load of other regulars but don’t know enough to comment on except they are locals and very interesting people from a NY perspective, real Hi

 Cool Cats Lounge Turns 6!!

On 2/8/19, Cool Cats celebrated its sixth anniversary with food, music and the usual crowd. One regular, who grew up on HHI in the eighties told me a story on how his neighbor’s dog was killed by a 16 foot alligator. He was 13 and was not allowed to shoot it, so he came up with a way to snare it, tie it up and then kill it by a knife between its eyes. He told about his family’s roots in southern Georgia so I do not doubt his tale. He remembers HHI before a lot of the development of the island since the 90’s. All in all a good time was had by all. Last call came at 2AM which was my clue to skedaddle. I have discovered hard seltzer, which is only 5% alcohols and I can nurse for hours.

Coming up soon

I will be doing my next piece on the friends I left behind so stay tuned!!!

                                                                       The Good

About a year prior to making the choice to move to Hilton Head, the one question people asked me over and over again was “who do you know there?”. I have been coming to HH since 2009 and after my separation, we continued to come down on vacation as a family. My Ex and I have a good relationship, where the kids come first. That is all I am going to say about that. While staying at Waterside, the Big Bamboo was in walking distance and became my “Cheers”. It is decked out as a WWII officer’s club in the South Pacific. I became friendly with the bartenders there. As a side note, HH has the best bartenders anywhere. I met Kacie, Andy, Evan, Sarah, Devon, Kristen, Will etc. Most are in their 30’s and are all great people. During my trips down to prepare for the move, I would hang there a lot. I met Rachel, via FB who rented my place for a few months after I bought it and was not being used. She is an extraordinary young lady who is a fitness trainer here and get my highest recommendation. Through her I met SD from Savannah.

SD is an amazing person who I consider a very good friend. She is very pretty and over the past year has been working out and as of the last time I saw here on New Year’s Eve, looked dynamite. Before I moved for good we did have dinner a few times and she sensed I was drawn to her and did me a favor quickly by setting me straight that she just wanted to be friends. Her honesty saved me from a foolish mistake since in hindsight, I am not what she is looking for and I realize that with my situation, better not to screw up a friendship over foolish emotions. We chat often and I still go to Savannah to have dinner once in a while.

Now to set the record straight, as of 2/3/19, besides my many bartender and waitstaff friends/acquaintances, all those who are my friends are all female. Sounds like a good thing for a guy but as you will read later under the ugly, not always a good thing. They see me as safe and one whose’s shoulder they can cry on. I am the teddy bear type and always been, not the guy girls take home at night, but the guy the call the next morning for a shoulder to cry on. Before moving down, I joined a FB over 40 page and that I where I have met these friends.

One is Debbie, also a Georgia girl. The night we met, she had seen a post on the FB page and approached me at the Big Bamboo AKA Boo. It was noisy and with her thick Georgia accent, had no idea that she was saying lol. I later approach at the bar and started chatting. She is widowed and close to my age and we have become, in my opinion, very good friends. We are dinner companions and bar stool buddies. She is very sweet and we tell things to each other that we can’t divulge to others. again, strictly platonic. We rang in the New Year with her sister and her sister’s bf in Savannah. Well, she likes my sense of humor and laughs at my jokes.

The original FB group was deleted by the Administrator because she did not have time to run it. She regretted not tuning it over to me but in October 2018, I started a new one. There are a half dozen or so that I a maintain a friendship on different level and won’t get into details since their lives are busy, challenging and most contact is done via texting. All of these women are fantastic, strong, and amazing women. Later on I may elaborate but, well…., not necessary, but I love each and everyone of them.

Unfortunately the only “bad” category also qualifies as the ugly as well. What seemed like a perfect situation came crashing down with the speed of one text message. I won’t say her name but was share the same initials and she shares her first name with a Beatles song on the White Album about Lennon’s mom. The other part involved shares my name but shares initials with the lead singer of the Doors. I first came into contact with JS via the original FB HH over 40 group. I posted things where she would consistently like. Then we became FB friends last spring and would like each others posts. After my separation, I had two previous attempt and a relationship, which neither one worked out and will be the subject of a future story. After a few months of FB flirting, we did meet for breakfast after I moved for good at Java Burrito. On paper, things seemed perfect. She was a stay at home mom, was 9 years younger who always liked older guys, Beatle fan, did not want a serious relationship at that time, made me feel very good, and soon I discovered. well I won’t go into details but the sex was amazing. She lived close by and has a small son who goes to bed by 8. She has 2 grown children who don’t live with her. Sounds perfect doesn’t it. FWB only minutes away!! Now for the catch. I was not the only one in her life. She met JM last February on the same group I think. She is from the Midwest and he from a city up north who last great achievement was told in the play 1776. She was upfront about him and I was fine with “sharing’ at the time. He lives on the Island and works doing maintenance at a local shopping area. We would refer to him as PB, which was short for plumber boy. JS said he was a nice guy, very different from me but he did stuff to piss her off. He was very clingy, made her drive everywhere, especially when it would make her nervous going somewhere she was not familiar with because he drove for work or something. Well so much for chivalry. He is NOT Italian, that is for sure. He had little imagination regarding places to go and was a picky eater who only ate bland. She liked different things and like a little spice in her food and in life. She made it know that she wanted to have some fun after a bad and long marriage. She had married young and he was no Prince Charming. We did a lot of things; pub crawl, lunches, breakfasts, trips to Savannah, daytime rendezvous,  and to a winery. She would come over when I had the kids for dinner with her sweet son and of course our time in bed. Not to get into details but she did everything amazing and made me feel a way I have not in years. After our first time, I started pinching myself expecting to wake up from a dream. then she would assure me it was quite real. There was one odd thing, sometimes she would sometimes have too much to drink and not remember the next morning, and she would blurt out things about JM and she did the same about me. Again no more details about that. the next there months went by with texts during the day, phone chats on nights we were not together and without realizing, I may have been, dare I say it, falling in love.

Then it all came down crashing. In the beginning of November, she told me that JM was having a friend over with the express purpose of having tons of sex for a week. This unsettled her and she told me that she was very pissed at him and froze him out that week. I had a dream that she told me that she was going exclusive with him and she assured me it was a dream and that would not happen. We even had lunch with other friends from the group the day before JM’s guest was about to leave and the next day I made her a special dinner. I made stuffed mushrooms and for those who know me, I only make them for special people.  It was a Saturday and she left me to confront him about how angry she was and that was the last time I saw her. I gave her space on Sunday and Monday I had asked about her daughter who was having oral surgery and to see how the talk went. She cut me off saying that JM and I we stressing her out. I gave her two more days and Wednesday 11/14 came. I was out with Debbie at the Lodge having dinner and I texted her. I got back “please do not contact me or JM anymore”. Stunned I asked her it they are now exclusive and she replied “yes”. Dumbfounded I walked out in the middle of my meal and went home to write a long letter asking for an explanation. She had blocked me from FB and messenger. The only was I was able to communicate was email. I told her to destroy the letter without reading. After a few days I figured, he changed his ways and she had no real feelings for me.  I guess I was his incentive to change. “Heartless” came to mind and realized I was just being used. She claimed that she did not want to be promiscuous any longer. Funny though, she had an old bf from her hometown coming to New Year’s who made all kind of plans. I guess he was out of luck too. A month later I sent a e-mail to her and she told me JM was moving in with her, so much for hating clingy and wanting space. It was not what she did that upset me the most, it was the heartless way she sent a “Dear John” text; welcome to the 21st century. If she would have had the decency to at least explain in person, I would have accepted it better. JM has no kids, is handy, in better shape, same age. I can accept that maybe he is a better choice. maybe she wants to get married eventually. I don’t and told God to strike me dead if I do. LOL. So I spent 2 month getting over it and my friends have been there for me. Debbie and SD have given me perspective. One of my other friends,  SK actually went on a date with JM via POF and told me he was the most boring person she had ever met. Of course God tortured me via XM Beatles channel 18 by playing all the Beatles’s break up songs. I had to not listen for a week and those who know me know that has never happened. So there it goes, 2/3/19, getting by with a big help from my friends. In a future post, I will talk about the two attempts after I was separated of dating. I promise not to disappoint.

Stay tuned for my next post about a local bar I frequent, Cool Cats Lounge. A place here local HHI residents hang and cool bartenders too. Troy, Adam, Matty, Cliff, Jen.

1/22/19

Mom died. That was two years ago last week. During the next two years, my ex and I did agree that once she retired, we all would move to Hilton Head with our girls. We considered West Palm Beach but the cost of houses, and the lack of decent schools in good areas, made us decide on Hilton Head. I was working at a non profit agency and began counting the days. I don’t want to dwell on too many details, so I will leave things for later posts. The important thing was the prospect of the biggest set of changes in a very long time. In August 2017, I bought a condo and she bought a house the following May and there the stage was set. We had help fixing up our place and closed in the end of July 2018.